-The internet is a double-edged sword.
-On one hand, the internet and has presented us with many wonderful opportunities for expanding our opinions, outlook and general knowledge, visa vis news and current affairs from multiple sources, The Gutenberg Project and Wikipedia.
-On the other hand, the internet has also presented us with many opportunities to shrink our brains into half eaten, saliva-soaked marshmallows, wasting our time and misinforming us about our world and the people in it, visa vis Miniclip.com, Facebook and, of course, Wikipedia. Not only because a lot of its entries are improperly researched and unverified, but also because of the varying and unaccountable nature of its coverage. The 400 word entry for Elizabeth Smart’s breathtaking 1945 prose poetry masterpiece By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept is pretty measly in comparison to the 6 section mini biography that comprises the entry for Dappy from N-Dubz. Apparently the cunt puts pepper in his toddler’s mouth as a punishment for swearing. He also got kicked out of Alton Towers last year for smoking a joint.
-Anyway, Youtube is a fascinating addition to our brave new world, giving us pop culture on tap, as it were. It’s amazing to have mini documentaries about Leonard Peltier, or trailers from forgotten Italian Giallo films and other groovy little cultural relics at our fingertips. We can even dig around in obscure music genres, listening to whole albums of rare afro-beat and Peruvian surf rock if we so wish.
-It’s less amazing that thousands of halfwits can post almost identical videos of their whippet going ballistic after bathtime and share it with a seemingly indifferent online world.
-The reason I say ‘seemingly indifferent’ is because though I know I don’t give a shit, and you may not either, I am still ceaselessly amazed, and often concerned, by the amount of views and comments that these pieces of audio-visual flim flam seem to gather. Under the soberly titled ‘Funny Dog Video’, posted four years ago by hotgirl5753, there are such insights as;
‘Who says cat videos are the best? FUCK CATS! Dogs can do everything a cat can, they can do more and they can do it better!’
- IamEyalMarcosLevit
and,
‘good video is funny :D. Song??’
-McRAEize
The accompanying song was, of course, Who Let the Dogs Out?, released by the Baha Men in the year 2000. Not sure how it managed to slip past the ears of McRAEize, what with it being the most irritating piece of music of all time, but there you go.
-In a weird way, these faceless (and very brainless) comments are really interesting, bringing Roland Barthe’s groundbreaking and diabolically boring thesis on ‘The Death of the Author’ back into relevance, in a poignant, yet totally hopeless format.
-However, the main thing I wanted to moan about is the fact that there are certain people who insist on showing you what they deem as ‘cool stuff!’ on youtube. And unless you have a good reason not to, you end up being subjected to repeatedly viewing a 47 second clip of a baby being surprised, or a cat that walks backwards. The people who seek out and share these videos are the grown up equivalent of the kid in the playground who wasted your whole break-time by describing the entire plot of their favourite Simpsons episode in a non-linear fashion, and I would like them to leave me alone.
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