I have never understood the purpose of blogging, and have thus always hated it. But, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Or, more precisely, if you feel intimidated every time you meet someone who appears more successful, together, and hip than you do, start writing a blog about all the things you hate. Here’s why I hate blogging:
-It has created a new sub-genre of non-fiction, which allows people to create an illusive, narcissistic vision of themselves as fascinating, edgy, creative individuals, all from the comfort of the dimly lit, semen-drenched keyboard that they probably never actually leave.
- It has changed the way we write, think and speak, with the perpetuation of a cutesy, yet ironic, Americanized ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ writing style. Which involves unnecessary full stops. And melodramatic short sentences. Everywhere.
- It assumes that we are open to giving a shit about the quotidian rituals of spoiled brats who either live really fast (from behind their computer screens), or live really well (from behind their computer screens). I would post a link to my ex-girlfriends blog, read by thousands of subscribers in Sweden, in which she details, amongst other earth shattering revelations, every skin, hair and beauty product she uses on a day-to-day basis. But she’d probably use her daddy’s black AmEx card to sue me for defamation, and I think I’m bitter enough as it is.
- New forms of online social media seem to promise us the notion of up to the minute insights into the real lives of our peers. Yet among all the posts along the lines of ‘…running for a Greyhound bus in Tucson, AZ!’, or ‘…sipping a dry vermouth whilst thumbing through a battered copy of A Farewell to Arms’, I have yet to come across a tweet, facebook status or blog entry that reads along the lines of ‘…having a shit, and considering whether or not to bleach my top lip’. Not that I’d want to, but I’m just saying.
- It distances people from the present, by causing us to aspire towards a constructed ideal of reality, by which enjoyment of the present moment is cast aside in favour of recording it. Unless, of course, you’re taking a shit and considering whether or not to bleach your top lip. In which case, since you’d never dream of sharing that with your online peers, there’s a chance you might actually be mindful of it enough to enjoy it.
No comments:
Post a Comment